A few days ago I had a long conversation with my mom about dissociation, systemhood, and the appearance of singularity. There's many metaphors that I and other systems have used to describe the experience of being plural, of being multiple people in one body- "who is driving the car" and "multiple people running a social media account" to name just two. These metaphors didnt quite match up to our own perception of plurality, however. Maybe it's because of the idea that it's typically one person who drives a car, or even just that the social media metaphor didn't click for us.

Our system is vast, and despite I, Bán, not leaving front for almost a year now, I don't feel any more claim to the system than anyone else who I share this body with. The name I go by in real life is not mine, but a collective name that is shared by the whole system. Trying to impress this upon our mother, who understood the concept of being plural but did not fully understand what it meant for us to be a collective, was difficult. It was during this hours-long conversation that I reached for a metaphor and pulled something out of my hat. Hopefully other systems can find as much use in it as I did.

I described to my mother the idea of the Brooklyn Men's Chorus. When you talk about the Brooklyn Men's Chorus, you talk about the entire body. There isn't one singular member of the Brooklyn Men's Chorus who is more "important" than any of the others- though some may have solos, and some may have more solos than others. Even so, it's not as if that one member of the chorus is the only important one there. Every member of the chorus is important, and what makes the Brooklyn Men's Chorus the Brooklyn Men's Chorus is that it isn't just one person leading it.

You could definitely push the metaphor further by talking about system roles by comparing them to altos and sopranos or any other role within a choir (of which I wouldn't know, as I don't sing in one), but I believe that this metaphor works best when used as a guide to help someone understand what it means for a system to be a collective. Even though a person may refer to us as [irl name], [irl name] is just a title. Any member of the system can act as [irl name] and are for the most part fine pretending to be [irl name]- just as any member of the Brooklyn Men's Chorus might speak as a member of the whole. The important emphasis is on the lack of leading role within the choir.

Posted by Bán to our tumblr, 9 Dec 2023